Fierce Grace
17 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Consciousness, Ram Dass, Yoga Benefits, Yoga Meditation, Yoga Philosophies
There are times in life when an incident or event are so intense, or overwhelming, that it causes us to stop in our tracks. Fierce means something intense or even violent. Grace has several meanings including divine assistance, a reprieve, or even a pause or turn in music. In trying to find meaning of the term Fierce Grace, I naturally Googled it and found a documentary movie of Ram Dass and his recovery and life after a stroke.
I could relate to a lot of what Dass said as he described the frustration of working with his mind and body, seeing my own mother deal with these same issues in the last few years. For Dass, the overwhelming part, the fierce part, was the stroke; the grace of course was the reprieve or clemency of not having his life end with the stroke. He said he remembered lying there in the ER and looking up at the pipes in the ceiling and try as he might, he could not make the connection to the spiritual. He said he “flunked the test” and was sent back (to continue working on enlightenment). Not only was he given a pause, or turn, as he lay on the table, but he was given clemency and chance to try again. Not fair perhaps, because he has the added limitation of aphasia to contend with, but nevertheless, the opportunity for growth and change, no matter how difficult the obstacles now.
For the rest of us, living in Fierce Grace means aggressively pursuing the change in the trajectory of our journey and the reprieve, pause, or divine intervention it brings, rather than waiting for the universe to force us there. We spend much of life maintaining routines that are safe, but possibly no longer useful. What would it take to suddenly drop the routine? When will we recognize obstacles as blessings? How could we live with less and be more happy? The crumbling away of what we think we know is difficult, but that is transformation. It is an unnerving, but necessary, process. Just as the fierceness of fire transforms solids into gas, the intensity of our lives can help us realize our full potential.
Allowing for the Process of Acceptance
14 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in Consciousness, India 2010, Sattva Yoga, Yoga Classes Jupiter, Yoga Juno Beach, Yoga Meditation, Yoga Palm Beach Gardens, Yoga Philosophies, Yoga Tequesta
The journey of self discovery is a challenging road filled with highs and lows and some eyebrow raising unknowns. We seldom need help with the highs, or even the unknowns, but the lows, well, that can be a problem. We can be crusing along feeling pretty good about our progress, rolling around in the comfort of syncronicity, then without warning, a shift occurs, and we find ourselves sidelined, distressed. We know we can’t make sense of it, yet we try, creating more confusion. The questions of how did this happen, how did I get here, nag at our reason, begging to be answered, but the only answer that really works, or even fits, is pure acceptance of what is.
Swiftly finding our way to acceptance is personal and may not be as swift as we would like. It is useless to try to rationalize our way there because the rational mind has left the building, and we find ourselves keeping company with negative, irrational thoughts that move us in a downward spiral much farther away from acceptance than we ever want to go. So we try to stay in upward spiral. Some may run it out in the park, or work it out in the gym. Others immerse themselves in hobbies, or seek counceling. Meditation and journaling have been helpful for many. How about a good ‘ol cry, or a full on pity party? That works too. Whatever the vehicle, the PROCESS of arriving at acceptance is vital to getting back on track and needs to be respected as a sacred time of transformation and compassion for the self, no matter how undignified you may feel about it, no matter how long it takes.
Acceptance and transformation walk hand in hand and allow us to re-commit to the journey, the highest road within us. Questioning doesn’t work. Seeking wastes energy. Negativity creates a breading ground for fear. As my teacher Anand Mehrotra says “Have more love in your heart than fear. It is too much to ask to not be afraid. Our love can trump the fear.”
Beyond the Bubble
11 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in Aldous Huxley, Consciousness, India 2010, Rishikesh, Yoga Meditation
”To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” – Aldous Huxley
“Don’t drink the water,” “don’t go out by yourself on the streets,” “learn some key phrases in their language,” “don’t eat food outside of the hotel,” “use hand sanitizer,” “take your own pillow and towels” . . . (seriously?!). . . these were all the things I was told before I left on my adventure to India. The list of things to be paranoid about when traveling to any foreign place is endless, if you allow it. It almost makes you wonder why you even considered traveling to begin with! No one can experience life from inside a bubble. You have to reach out beyond the thin film of apprehension and become an active participant to get a pure sense of knowing another life, creating a timeless and personal souvenier.
In my own country of the United States, there is the traditional mixed with the contemporary, extreme wealth and extreme poverty, drinkable and undrinkable water, places where you can and can not walk on the street by yourself, hotel pillows and towels that are poor excuses for comfort, and hand sanitizer is advisable pretty much everywhere. Examining all of these on a superficial point by point basis, it could be any country anywhere really. When I arrived in India, it was to me at once different, and yet, somewhat similar. All these same observations were apparent, but naturally veiled in the context of the culture. It would have been easy to just be an observer, dipping my toe in the rushing current of stimulation that is India; seeing it in terms of comparison to cities and parts of our own country that might have accommodated a resigned sense of comfort. However, I immediately allowed myself to get swept up into the whirlwind, swimming in the sights & sounds, anxious to feel the heart and heat of the culture. I think this is where the problem lies in visiting any foreign place: that we are apprehensively anxious to “see” and “be in” an exotic place, but are afraid to really immerse ourselves in it, fearful we might lose ourselves there, unwilling to be uncomfortable and out of our element for any length of time. As a result, we keep an arm’s length, wandering around, looking, snapping photos so we don’t forget the experience, but not letting any of it permeate the senses that allow us to feel the experience.
Immersing ourselves in another culture can not change the context of our truth. The blueprint of the self won’t be altered simply by will or time. However, experiencing a foreign culture introduces us to, and broadens our understanding of, other ways of life. The clothes, the language, the colors and smells may be different from what we are accustomed to, but underneath these thin veils lies the common thread of humanity and compassion. We are truly all of the same energy, beings of light and love. “Imagine all the people sharing all the world. You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will live as one.” (John Lennon)
Rumi
08 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Consciousness, Hatha Yoga, Rumi, Yoga Benefits, Yoga Meditation, Yoga Philosophies
“Look for the answer inside your question.” – Rumi
The Topsy-Turvy of Inversion
19 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in Consciousness, Flow Yoga, Inversions, Vinyasa Yoga, Yoga Benefits, Yoga Meditation, Yoga Philosophies
I recently attended a holiday event in West Palm Beach, FL called The Festival of the Trees. Twenty-five pine trees were decorated in the style of famous artists or art genres. As I approached one of the displays housed in an outdoor pergola, I observed the christmas tree was hung upside down and decorated. It represented the “Dada Art Movement” that coincided with the outbreak of World War I. This genre was a way for the artists (Dadaists) to speak out against the irrationality of a capitalist society that they felt lead to WWI. At first the tree was amusing, but then the discomfort set in, as I felt the grey-green coldness of the underside of the tree limbs and pine needles, branches folding in on themselves, the silver glass ball decorations dimpling the otherwise smooth-ish surface, seemingly not embellishing it. It was not how a tree should look – or what we have come to believe is the ”correct” way to display a decorated tree: the preferred version with gravity softly opening the branches out and down the way nature intended with a rich, dark Evergreen warmth. Just as the Dada movement was meant to act as a vehicle for social commentary on basically anything conformist, presenting a completely new, and chaotic way of looking at art and life in general, this tree was “chaotic” in a simplistic, non conformist way.
In yoga, we find this same opportunity in inversions - to look at things in a completely different way. Perhaps not so much a social commentary as a spiritual one, inversions awaken our inner dialogue to consider approaching life in a different way on a personal level; shaking up what we know to be comfortable spiritually and physically. In the physical realm, inversions allow us to literally change our visual perspective, as well as the way in which the body is supported (on our hands, head or arms) which can alone open the doors of personal change. However, being upside down also has the scientific/medical benefit of taking the more toxic properties of our digestive system below the naval center, and with gravity, moving them towards the “fire” or “Agni” above the naval center where we can literally burn off the excess that no longer serve us. Spiritually, inversions invite chaos as a way of releasing habitual routines and perceptions, allowing for growth through adaptation, and consequently a transformation of our understanding of pretty much everything.
Glancing at the Dada Christmas tree over my shoulder as I turned to leave, having made my peace with it, I snickered at the similarity of my own experience in the completely different medium of yoga with the Dada art movement several decades before my time. While the movement lasted only about 5-6 years, the ideas that it presented have been replicated and repeated continuously throughout history in different forms, even in my world of yoga. The topsy-turvy tree with topsy-turvy inversions . . . questioning everything obvious, offering change.
Kunj Puri – Head in the clouds, Feet on the Ground
28 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
in Consciousness, India 2010, Rishikesh, Thich Nhat Hanh, Yoga Meditation
“When the mind settles on mountain, it becomes the mountain.” – Thich Nhat Hahn
We have all climbed a mountain at one time or another in the emotional sense. The journey is never easy and can reduce us to tears. Sometimes it is a steep, rocky, uphill climb, other times flat and uneven., still others are a combination of both, some long, some short, etc. Regardless, these journeys are important milestones in finding our strengths and overcoming weaknesses. Realizing that we are often held back and kept prisoner by the monkey mind and that we truly choose to move forward out of free will and desire, quelling the self-doubt, the “what ifs” and manifesting happiness. Mantras and affirmations can help to steady the mind for progress along the climb. The real questions is will you make the climb?
Our trek to the Devine Mother Temple (Kunj Puri) was an exercise in perseverance and strength in every aspect of the words. Starting our adventure in Rishikesh at about 3,000 ft., we were to ascent to 7,000 ft. in approximately 6 hours. None of us knew that is would be basically straight up with small switchbacks for that length of time – - and that we would be in silent meditation for its entirety. This is a tall order for a group of 18 women. It was taxing mentally and physically, but the hardest part was that it broke each of us down emotionally and all of it a battle with the negative self talk, doubt and occasional fear. The mantra helped bring the mind to neutrality, putting one foot in front of the next and suddenly, somehow, reaching the satisfaction of accomplishment I absolutely could not have made it without those 6 little words each one matching a footstep: Dhum dhum dhum jaia mata Durga ki (asking for strength and from the goddess Durga). Completely spent, we arrive at the temple which was already in cloud cover. Looking up, we find more steps (I’m guessing 108) leading to the temple itself. Ugh! We all made it in our own individual ways, paid homage to Shakti and Shiva, and even witnessed the marital blessing of a newlywed couple.
With my head in the clouds and my feet firmly on the ground, I settled my mind on the mountain and became the mountain – a stronger, lighter, better version of myself. The climb is never over.
Rumi
23 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
in Consciousness, India 2010, Rishikesh, Rumi, Yoga Meditation
“Always move, but never move the way fear makes you move.” – Rumi
Fire Purification: Intention & Attention
23 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
in Consciousness, India 2010, Rishikesh, Yoga Meditation
Releasing and manifesting are extremes of the same energy. As soon as we release something, we create space to receive what we desire. Think: releasing the negativity of a clenched fist to accept the positive handshake of friendship. Mentally this can be a struggle, even with good intention, when we are dealing with something abstract like fear, insecurity, love, compassion. Sometimes we need a visual to make the intangible tangible. Hence our night along the Ganga and the Fire Purification Ceremony.
A short walk through the market takes us to an obscure, steep (no railing) freshly cemented only hours ago, staircase leading down the steap facade of the village. The sun has dropped behind the Himalayas. It will be dark soon. Looking left we see the Ghat (steps leading into the river) and our Pundit, the holy man and Sanskrit master who will be our conduit to Chamundaya (Cham-die) the Goddess of evolution. Fire is the great purifier, transforming objects to gas or ash. Gathering in a circle around the fire pit, our Pundit prepares the fire and gives us bowls of 9 mixed herbs representing the 9 planets of the solar system, the Pundit recites the mantra to the goddess 108 times, each time we toss small amounts of herbs onto the flame, and finally tossing our written “release” into the pit. More chanting, more herbs, bigger flame and then our “attention” – that which we wish to manifest – is offer to Chamundaya. We receive the Tilek (precursor of the bindi) as a reminder to keep our intention of the third eye fixed on our attention. A red yarn bracelet is wrapped 3 times around the wrist with the knowledge that when it falls off, it is said we will have come close to thr realization of intnetion/attention.
There’s no way to know when my bracelet will release, but I am rid of old negativity, giving me space for full attention to intention.
Namaste
Adaptation
21 Nov 2010 3 Comments
in Consciousness, India 2010, Rishikesh, Yoga Meditation
It’s all about adapting… to the time change that taxes both body & mind, the constant noise, the wildlife. We arrived in Rishikesh about 3 hours ago after a total of about 30+ hours of traveling. The trip has been a test of patience and stamina in almost every way. One of my traveling yogi friends aptly described it like being in an Indiana Jones movie.
Complete with honking horns set against lilting Indian music, weathered and worn market stalls, jeeps, cab wallas and scooters, Rishikesh takes your breath away. It’s not the physical beauty because that is not immediately evident. It is a cacaphony of sights , smells & sound simmering like the masala on tonight’s dinner menu. It is completely different yet also familiar.
These adaptations began with our travel. The very lenghth of it and ensuing weariness breaking down every identification you have with yourself so you arrive in a mid state of not quite awake, not quite asleep, allowing for that receptivity so difficult to achieve but often found through meditation.
This afternoon we’ll walk through the village letting India seep into the bones then have yoga class. Can we find our place in this wild and crazy country? Will the vibrations of gurus past raise our own vibration and awareness? Will my body support me through the asanas? I am certain the answer is yes to all of these because what the mind expects it finds.
9-11 Acceptance Through Remembrance
13 Sep 2010 Leave a Comment
in Consciousness, Yoga Meditation
My meditation in yoga this past weekend had to do with finding the good in everything, especially in the midst of situations where it seemingly does not exist. This weekend was also, of course, the anniversary of the 9-11 tragedy. This meditation would be challenging, if not impossible, to achieve. While I was not directly affected by 9-11 in that no one from my immediate family was lost in the horrific events that unfolded that day, would it even be possible to find a sense of gratitude for this disaster? Where would I even begin? Surprisingly, that is exactly where I began, with the small fact that my family was, and is still, in tact. It was a small thing really, but a starting point. As I let the slide show of well-known images of the Twin Towers pass vividly in my mind’s eye, I let myself feel the sense of desperation and fear that was so prevalent 9 years ago. It seemed counter productive to my finding acceptance, but while I tried to negate them from my thoughts, it became clear there was no way to get to point “B” in my meditation without first revisiting those emotions. Moving from fear to overwhelming helplessness of how to even begin dealing with all the different facets of the aftermath and the paralyzing fear that no one was safe as all communication was lost. It was right at that point, the bottom of the barrel of emotions, that I began finding my way towards a better place. The gratitude began to flow with the remembrance of an entire world community putting prejudice and differences aside. Rescue personnel, both human and canine, selflessly acted without questioning, strangers helped strangers, and true compassion flowed above and beyond religious, ethnic and geographic boundaries from every corner, community, city, and country. As I remembered the stories of people who unexplicably took a different path into the city that morning, experienced delays, called in sick, etc., I found gratitude for the gift of our 6th sense, our intuition, that many had connected with, maybe for the first time in their lives, and that possibly saved them as a result. Through remembering, my heart was filled with acceptance, and yes, gratitude, for the devastation that allowed the world to momentarily stop and begin moving again more mind fully, compassionately, appreciatively, delicately.
It became excruciatingly clear that our time here is temporary at best, fleeting at worst. I do not believe there was a human alive on 9-11 that didn’t love more deeply from that day on. With time, emotions heal and evolution continues, but now with an acute understanding of the frailness of the illusion of life. As we continue to try to make sense of the senselessness, finding gratitude for the gift of the present, we, as a global community, struggle to move toward the idea of compassion for the oppressors of freedom – the freedom inherent in all humanity. Perhaps it will take a lifetime of meditations for me to personally reach the compassion of point “B” on this particular topic. However, I am comforted this weekend, on the anniversary of the first day of the rest of our lives, that by finding acceptance, then gratitude, I know that compassion (in terms of understanding) is possible.
